so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
