She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
