Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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