I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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