new low.... made out with someone while peeing
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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