Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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