My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
