I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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