I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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