I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
