Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
