Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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