Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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