So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Michael Bay diarrhea
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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