I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
