my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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