Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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