'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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