What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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