Nicole vs. Life
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
