I puked a lego.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize