Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
