absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
