There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
