How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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