i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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