Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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