Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
