i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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