At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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