My nipple is on Facebook.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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