I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
