At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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