I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
