All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
