Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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