he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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