mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
