I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
