Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
