Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
