Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
