3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
