sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
