On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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