...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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