DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize