they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
