it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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