Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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