I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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