I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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